Goethe-Institut did a web series a while back aimed at new arrivals in Germany and I like how it make sure to teach people that a lot of Germans are rude af
Well she’s obviously doing it wrong. You got to mumble “Guten Tag” in no one’s actual direction upon entering the waiting room. Then you don’t speak a word (you gotta grab a magazine though, because if you’re on your mobile people will find that asocial) until the doctor calls you and when you get back to retrieve your jacket you mumble “Auf Wiedersehen”.
If you say “Guten Tag” while sitting down it’s either because you’re passive-aggressively shaming the person you’re talking to for not saying “Guten Tag” (which is of course highly respectable, but weird if they did say it) or worse:
You’re trying to make small-talk.
See also: when entering a crowded bus, tram, subway or train, you do not say a single word. You look for an empty bench. If there are none, you will have a neighbour. You stop at an empty spot and mumble something like “tschulli-ng” or “s-nch-frei?” to the person occupying the other spot on the bench. You nod in an upward direction. They reply a mumbled “türlich” while vaguely looking somewhere near your face and moving their bag if neccessary. You sit down, nod gratefully, and keep your mouth shut for the rest of the ride. Neither of you wanted this. You wanted freedom. Don’t bother each other.
If an entire bench in front of you becomes available at the next stop, though, it is not the polite thing to free your neighbour and yourself up. No, you stay right where you are. The silent stranger next to you is your silent stranger now.
Welcome to Germany. This is how we express love.
None of these people are joking.
And if you’re the one sitting at the window and you want to get off at the next stop, you begin to loudly rustle with your bag whatever, because that way you can signal the other person that you need them to get up without having to speak to them.
Like man I get scared of interacting with people but this just takes it to a whole new level.
and today i learn that i socialize in public like a german
It’s nice to be reminded sometimes that Dutch culture and German culture were one and the same for a really long time and in many ways they still are XD
Though here the other person probably wouldn’t actually shove a literal magazine in front of their face. They’d probably say “hello” back in a super confused voice while doing their level best to nonverbally express their confusion that you tried to interact with them in the first place and please don’t do that again.
I’m having trouble deciding between moving to Germany immediately or never going there ever.
Visit Sweden, spend at least 30 minutes in public there, then move to Germany and soak up the friendly social atmosphere.
(seriously. I’m
Dutch, autistic, and an introvert and I sighed with relief when I returned from a trip to Sweden because thank fuck, here there are actual people engaging in verbal communication in public spaces. The constant quiet in Sweden freaked me out. Me. Who normally has to fight urges not to commit bloody murder on public transport because why do people have to make noise all the time. I was relieved to be overhearing 3 conversations and 2 phone calls at once because at least it was better than deadly silence. In Sweden the above image series would’ve ended not with a single raised magazine but with an entire waiting room full of people staring at the person who spoke in public like they’d personally kicked open the gates of hell and unleashed the armies of chaos.)
Anyway my point is Germans are actually quite friendly, they just don’t like small talk. Same mostly goes for Dutch people. And if anyone tries to convince you that we’re standoffish, visit our northern neighbors and bear witness.
This is fascinating. They need to teach this shit to American travelers, because this is probably why Europeans find Americans so obnoxious and we find them rude. The cultures could not be more different.
Entirely true. I remember seeing a post on Quora that was like “Europeans, what do you not understand about Americans” and one of the answers was a German saying we’re creepy because we smile all the time. Meanwhile I absolutely could not fathom inflicting my RBF on a stranger.
283,000 likes………giant meteor strike the earth rn holy shit. oh my god.
“maybe it’s not your pussy” is such a funny phrase and also correct. People wonder why chores are so hard and it’s like, friends we used to have a whole intergenerational team on this and now Grandma is locked in a beige box. Cooking is hard.
Look, if you’re starving in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and suddenly someone is like ‘oh I have tons of food and it just happens to be meat do you want some lol’ you CANNOT act surprised when it’s people. You simply CANNOT.
There are times and places where it is realistic to expect NOT to be served people. For example, in a pie shop underneath a barber shop. THEN you can be all 'OH GOD IT’S PEOPLE.’
If you are in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and are suddenly served a really good meat pie, you have to know it’s people. Do you see any cows? No, they all apocalypsed. It’s your neighbor.
If you’re served food in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, ask yourself these questions first:
Do I trust the person feeding me?
Is this meat fresh, and if so, have there been any livestock non-apocalypsed recently?
Have I seen Kevin within the past week?
Am I willing to commit the penultimate culinary taboo? (The ultimate culinary taboo is putting pineapple on pizza, a crime I regularly commit)
what’s the best class if you wanna spec into claws in elden ring?
i wanna lose my shit, go feral, end up looking like one of these lads:
also, infinitely more important question: is elden ring a good game to JUST starting soulslikes, or is it tough as shit?
Speaking from experience: you don’t have to be good at video games, or ever have touched a soulslike before, to have amazing fun with Elden Ring. You just need a high tolerance for dying (being eaten by rats is slapstick comedy, picture the lil guy falling out of the checkpoint swearing) and a willingness to experiment. Run past/away from anything that kills you enough times to be frustrating, come back later and stronger if the thing looks important. Look up some guides if you get annoying levels of lost and confused.
Most of the claws work best on dex builds that are mostly just dexterity, vigor, a bit of mind and endurance, maybe 12 faith for buffs. (i’m having a great time rn with strength and Bloodhound Claws, but those are just as good on dex). Arcane claws are good too, but it gets kinda bleed-focussed and that complicates bosses that can’t bleed.
If you’re asking which character to start as (they’re just starting characters, not classes you have to stick to) then the samurai already has good dex, and they start with one of the best fast lightweight swords in the game that you can keep as backup for when you want a weapon more than twelve inches long. The bow’s also useful early game, and by the time it starts getting less useful you’ll have access to Dex-based weapon customisations like “press L2 to smite with lightning” and “press L2 to scream at the enemy so loudly they take damage and fall over.” Just steal a better shield, because the samurai starting shield isn’t great, and now and then you really want a shield.
Alternatively, start as ANYTHING (vagabond has the best starting shield and armour), practice and level up your HP till you can beat the guy in the picture and take his wavy sword, and use that till you can get claws. That sword’s not customisable and it only does good damage if you focus on dex or dex+strength, but WOW it’s good for those classes. if you’re bad at the game it’s definitely one of the more OP weapons. Outside PVP. Bad in PVP.
(You can get picture guy’s armour as well, but not till you make it halfway through a truly annoying midgame dungeon. You can’t run on all fours like him though - you have to stay human shaped I’m afraid)
“Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they’re 15” this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit
To wit:
I want to share some wisdom from my high school art teacher.
In my AP Art class, there was a girl who was just starting to experiment with mixed media. At this point she was still playing around, trying to decide what direction she wanted to go with her portfolio. So one critique day, she brought in an abstract canvas with some rhinestone highlights and painted and real peacock feathers. She loved sparkles and peacock feathers so she thought she’d try introducing them a *little*. And after everyone had given some input, the teacher gave her his advice, VERY roughly paraphrased here:
“So here’s the thing… I do not like this style. These are just elements that do not speak to me personally, but I see that you like them, and you’re doing interesting things with them.
“My biggest critique is, I only merely *dislike* this piece. I want you to make me HATE it. Go crazy with the things that you like. Don’t hold back trying to make it palatable to people like me. Because I am NEVER going to like it. And if the audience does not like it, it should drive them crazy seeing how much YOU love it.”
Her portfolio was chock full of neon colors and glitter and rhinestones and splashes of peacock feathers and it was a delight. Our teacher despised every piece lol, but she got great marks and I think even won some awards. And more importantly, she was happy and proud of the results. Because she didn’t limit herself by trying to appeal to people who were never going to enjoy what she enjoyed.
Takeaway here: be as cringe as you want. Don’t limit yourself based on other ppl’s tastes. They’re not you, and you are incredible 💕
art blog is @ambercalansteen-artfallacy
